If there was a time machine that can bring me to anywhere in my lifetime, I would want it to be an exact day and date and that would be Wednesday, 15 April 1992. That was the day my father passed away.
My father, who had been sick for almost two years was going through repeated traditional medical help in Johor at his brother's house. This was after being hospitalised for two weeks and not being given a diagnosis by the doctors at all coz he said he can't find anything wrong with him.
Can't find anything wrong? This man whose left arm was shrinking day by day? This man who can't even hold up his neck? This man who can't walk by himself without help? No, the doctors can't find out what was wrong with him even after two weeks. Hence traditional assistance was sought.
My parents went to Johor on Sunday, a week after Hari Raya. I didn't go with them since I was working and they were supposed to be there for a week. I received a phone call from my mom on Tuesday morning saying there were improvements to my father's situation. He was eating and laughing more and I was relieved. They were going to continue with the treatment.
At around 11pm that same day though, I received another phone call. It was my uncle saying that my father was drifting in and out of consciousness. He was coming down to get me.
When I arrived, 3hours later, my father was already gone. I did not even get to say goodbye ....
Title: The Age That I Wish To Go Back To
Requirement: Write about the one age that you wish to go back to and why?
Tag Mode: 5 bloggers
1st - You leave their blog and post link and add to the list below.
2nd - Let the blogger you want to tag know they been tagged by comment in their blog or etc.
The Age that they Wish to Go Back to:
Amidrin wish to go back to age 22 to correct back some mistakes in life.
Lemonjude wish to go back to age 6 to enjoy kid's life.
L'abeille wish to go back to any year but never return to age 28.
Sweetpea wish to go back to, actually, just thinking about 17.
Jean Chia wish to go back to 14 years old.
eastcoastlife wishes to go back to age 24 when she's in demand.
Emila wish to go back to the age of 7 to live that precious moments again
Rizal wish to go back to the age of 7 - 7 super wonders of my world.
Mangosteenskin wish to back to age 7 to chase back Macik Piut’s geese and dogs!
Mariuca wish to go back to age 14 to forget her current sorrows.
LadyJava wish to go back to age 23 to say goodbye to her father and tell him, " I love you"
My father, who had been sick for almost two years was going through repeated traditional medical help in Johor at his brother's house. This was after being hospitalised for two weeks and not being given a diagnosis by the doctors at all coz he said he can't find anything wrong with him.
Can't find anything wrong? This man whose left arm was shrinking day by day? This man who can't even hold up his neck? This man who can't walk by himself without help? No, the doctors can't find out what was wrong with him even after two weeks. Hence traditional assistance was sought.
My parents went to Johor on Sunday, a week after Hari Raya. I didn't go with them since I was working and they were supposed to be there for a week. I received a phone call from my mom on Tuesday morning saying there were improvements to my father's situation. He was eating and laughing more and I was relieved. They were going to continue with the treatment.
At around 11pm that same day though, I received another phone call. It was my uncle saying that my father was drifting in and out of consciousness. He was coming down to get me.
When I arrived, 3hours later, my father was already gone. I did not even get to say goodbye ....
**************Start copy***************
InstructionsTitle: The Age That I Wish To Go Back To
Requirement: Write about the one age that you wish to go back to and why?
Tag Mode: 5 bloggers
1st - You leave their blog and post link and add to the list below.
2nd - Let the blogger you want to tag know they been tagged by comment in their blog or etc.
The Age that they Wish to Go Back to:
Amidrin wish to go back to age 22 to correct back some mistakes in life.
Lemonjude wish to go back to age 6 to enjoy kid's life.
L'abeille wish to go back to any year but never return to age 28.
Sweetpea wish to go back to, actually, just thinking about 17.
Jean Chia wish to go back to 14 years old.
eastcoastlife wishes to go back to age 24 when she's in demand.
Emila wish to go back to the age of 7 to live that precious moments again
Rizal wish to go back to the age of 7 - 7 super wonders of my world.
Mangosteenskin wish to back to age 7 to chase back Macik Piut’s geese and dogs!
Mariuca wish to go back to age 14 to forget her current sorrows.
LadyJava wish to go back to age 23 to say goodbye to her father and tell him, " I love you"
**************End copy***************
I love you Ayah

PS: I am tagging Natrah, Noushy, Shirley and Emila







































23 Comments:
I think this is the best response to a tag for a meme I have ever read. Your post is very poignant and heartfelt.
Cheers!
Dear Matt..
Thank you for your kind comment. It was very hard for me to write this and I really don't want to re-live the day again but how I wished I could really go back.. just to see him "healthy" for even that one night.
Have a great day :)
Morning LJ! I tertidur awal semalam, cause didn't get enough sleep the previous night. :)
Even after all these years, it's still hard for u to write this, so thanks for sharing dearie. It's not easy to lose a loved one, what more ur Dad. My heart goes out to u, love and hugs for LJ! :)
Gd Morning GP!! My sleep yesterday was also terrible.. first tak tidor coz gi office.. then slept at 6pm and woke up 11pm.. till now.. pasni nak kena gi bank pulak..ish ish ish...
It is still very hard for me to write this... bukan lah nak jadi crybaby kan.. but even when I was typing it.. i had to stop a few times coz sebak you know.. but it felt good to actually say the words so thanks for tag dearie :)
Now perhaps I can work on that tribute to dad thing for Trin!!
wah, good post LJ.. should be posted in Tribute to Dads! Matthew was right, This post is heartfelt! Touching... sweet.. loving.. I know you love your ayah very much.. *hugs*
So sad. Reminds me of when my atok passed away. Dia dah nazak and I was busy calling my auntie who did not answered her phone. I had to go to her house to inform her about my atok. Apparently the whole family was sleeping like logs. When I got back, my atok has passed away. I cried for days, weeks and months. I could have said goodbye or I love you. I wish my atok could hear me now.
Trin.. it still hurt whenever I think of the day you know.. and like i said to GP! I had to stop a few times when writing it coz got to get tissue!!
Anyway.. I would refine this and let you have it soon ya.. I want to post a handsome picture of him too!!
Alahai pity you Emila.. tu lah hurts so much when you can't be them that last time kan.. I was not expecting him to go.. coz when my mom call that day.. she sounded so happy that my late dad was eating and laughing .. rupanya.. then you know I read somewhere that is common for pple yg time dah dekat, ceria macam tu.. macam dia nak kasi org surrounding dia happy..
Ahhh.... my hubby is asking me why I'm crying now.. excuse me...
LJ
My father passed away 8 years ago and I was the last person he saw minutes before he turn coma in the hospital. He died 4 days later in ICU due to kidney and heart failure. I wish I could go back to my younger days where I could spend more valuable moments with him. Being the only daughter, he was the greatest man in my life and always be till now in our hearts. Always miss him esp on his death anniversary, and I know how u feel too..Hugs for you XXX
I should say, it is an interesting topic... its hurt so much when somebody you love passed away... i wish i can turn back the clock .. to say 'i love you grandma' before she passed away... i was still young when she passed away and i remember i was so angry with her because she wont let me go out and play. i feel like crying already..
Hi Carolyn..
Wow! What a young age to lose a parent! My sympathies :)
Yeah I wished I had taken care of my dad more when he was sick. I was always busy with work you know. Now I regret not spending more time with him too :(
Shirley, sad lah kan...yeah we always take for granted those that love us the most.. aiyohh want to cry again already...
LJ, im so sorry! I understood how u felt. Reading your post reminds me of my dad. I've been avoiding talking about my dad's because I am still not over it yet. I think about him every single day and it hurts alot.
yeah, i regretted not spending enough time with him too. I was only starting my plan to make him happy because I am beginning to have more money to spend. Why? I just want to forget about that day. It hurts alot! Read it at my old blog: http://jeanchia.blogs.friendster.com/jeans_bloggie/2006/09/papa_i_missed_y.html
*HUGZ & LOVE* to you, LJ! Be strong & happy!
Hi Jean..Thanks for sharing your story with me. I'm so sorry to hear about your father too.. I can't imagine losing someone so suddenly like that. Like you, it still hurt to talk about my dad too.. so I don't..
Hugs to you too dearie!!
Awww.. I feel you too LJ! I wanna go back to anytime before my dad passed away.. I wasn't with him too.. I totally know how you feel. And it still doesn't get any easier after so many years..
wah.. so happy to hear that!! I'll wait.. hurry..hurry.. :-)
Ok Trin..I'll get to it ASAP!! Eh any chup today??
Syura.. it doesn't get any easier kan?? I miss him so much as well.. I wish my hubby could have met him.. sigh...
14!
Once upon a time, masa you tak kenal I lagi, I am reputed to place long comments. Gee, macamlah dema tak tahu, I can give a short one too. The shortest I have given was to Mariuca. I hope she remembers. The second, *14!* tu lah. I hope to be known next as the Top Number 1 Commenter. Kecuali yang bagi perfume tuu, susah sikit nak memfotongnya...You know what I mean, and I meant what I mean. LOL!!!
heheh zubli.. i kasi chance kot this month... takper.. slow slow i catch up eh..lol..
Yg perfume tu I punya lahh!! lolzz.. and I know what you mean coz you meant it!! ehehhe
LJ,
sorry to hear that..I don't think I would be that strong to be there if I were you...must be very hard for you to go through ur days after that right?...oh so sorry.
so you don't know the cause of death?sucks la that doc..should hv referred ur late dad to other centres for opinion and management right?btw,you are strong lady..
pssst:eh why i taktau pun i was tagged?hehehheee nnti ek bila ada free i'll do it ok
Nat. welcome back dearie.. tulah doctor tu siap buat apa tu yg ambik air kat spine tu and then still cannot find anything wrong.. cian my late dad. I still remember dia kata sakit time depa took the liquid.. and I was there when they took it lagi.. I can still remember his face...:(
Anyway.. I'm fine.. just wished I could have been there when he left you know.. sigh...
Nat.. takper.. you buat when you have time ok.. mula-mula i tak tag sapa2 then I changed my mind..lolzz
LJ, this entry of yours brought tears to my eyes. I can imagine this, one moment the person looks all good and recovering, and the next, he's gone. I am so sorry for you. it must have been tough to arrive without having to kiss him and say goodbye right?
what was actually wrong with arwah? was it really something modern medicine can't figure? or maybe even you don't know still. anyway, i hope he's happy in heaven. al fatihah.
i have to do this tag too, and i might do it in the next few days. fun one, but of course reading stories like yours is sedih.
Yes Farah.. it was hard not being able to say goodbye. in fact I only spoke to him once since he left with my mom to Johor that weekend.. We always think there's time kan... when in fact.. there's never enough..
the docs could not find anything wrong so org kat maybe kena buat org. ..maklumlah my parents ada kedai makan.. so when one person down.. kedai pun affected kan..
InsyAllah, he's happier where he is with no pain anymore.. :)
Hi Trisna
Thanks for dropping by.. be right there to check out your answer :)
See you!
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